Friday, May 13, 2011


To the mosquito who somehow found its way upstairs and woke me up at 4 am by buzzing in my ear:

I will find you. And I will end your miserable existence, leg by spindly leg.

I'm trying to be understanding, really; I get that you were probably thirsty for some drank and needed to feed your family too. And maybe you were even able to detect the sweet Vietnamese iced coffee still running through my veins last night. But rules are rules—only in public spaces, remember? Sneaking into my room and waiting for me to fall asleep so that you could attack my defenseless neck? Not cool.

To said mosquito's friends and family:

Play dirty one more time and I will actually take one of those mosquito racket zappers to Mozambique and practice my backhand on swarms of your cousins. Maybe I'll even take this.

Consider yourselves warned.